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Dating free online There are a few tips to remember
Everybody's doin' it. CyberDating is growing increasingly popular with
people of all ages. It's quick, easy and inexpensive. That's why so many
are wearing their heart online. All of the major Web portals, without
naming names, are really just big 'pick-up joints' for millions of singles
across the country.
There are a few tips to remember, however, before taking the plunge into
CyberDating:
You can weed out people not considered ideal candidates for a date by
their online responses. Ask questions about hobbies, career, education,
family relationships, political interests, and other reasonably personal
questions.
There's a lot less pressure. If you decide not to follow-up with somebody,
you can always just ignore incoming e-mails. There's no need to make up
some excuse. Just click on delete and move on. Online personals are much
more convenient. At a bar, people are pressed to find somebody within
a certain time range, between the hours of 8:00 p.m. and 2:00 a.m., for
example. I am sure you have seen the "desperate hour" right
before closing at a singles type bar. Visitors to online personal sites
can browse a wide selection of candidates at their own convenience - in
the middle of a Sunday afternoon. There is a huge selection of singles
online. You can scan hundreds of photos and bios in a very short period
of time. It's easier to custom-tailor your search online.
Ask if the dating service you are thinking about using provides anonymous
e-mail, so you don't have to reveal your identity. Setting up a free e-mail
account for that purpose can protect your privacy if they do not provide
anonymous e-mail.
Internet dating bides you time to find out more about this person. For
example, if you're leery of someone you have met, you might want to do
a background verification check. If a creditor, the police or a spouse
is looking for your potential love interest, why go after this person
when he or she is already wanted?
WRITE A BETTER ONLINE PERSONAL AD
If you are going to invest time or money in using a matchmaking website,
you should really pay some attention to writing a profile that will get
you some responses. People will not be interested in emailing you if you
do not do something to make yourself stand out from the masses of people
using personal ads.
People frequently write in saying, "I never get any replies to my
ad." And when I go look at the ad, I find that they have not filled
out the profile, or added a photo. Who can tell if they want to email
you if there is no information? Not quite as bad, but still ineffective,
is a profile that says, "Email me for details" or "looking
for a nice person." You can't bother to write a paragraph to find
the love of your life? Or even a fun date for the weekend?
Here are some guidelines for writing effective personal
ad blurbs:
INVESTMENT. Decide that this is worth spending some time
on, or don't bother. You wouldn't submit a sloppy resume, would you? This
is about making a good first impression, because there will be no second
chance once someone clicks to the next ad.
MARKETING. You are marketing yourself... trying to stand out in a crowd.
You are the "product." and the people you want to meet are your
customers. Think about who you want to meet, and then think about who
THEY want to meet! How can you tell them that YOU are the person they
want to meet? Magazine ads, for example, grab your attention, make you
laugh, they make you think "wow, what a great thing... I want to
buy it." They can be short, but pack a punch. If they are long, they
tell a good story. Marketers test their different ad campaigns, and you
should, too. Try placing different ads to see what gets you a better result.
PREPARATION.Before you log in anywhere, do some thinking and writing.
Don't wait until you are faced with a blinking cursor to write your blurb.
Give serious thought to how you will describe yourself and the person
you hope to find. Write at least two paragraphs, one about yourself, and
one about the person you seek. Ask someone you trust to read those paragraphs
and comment on how well they reflect who you are and what you want. Save
that text to cut and paste into dating website forms. Have a digital photo
or two ready.
PERSONAL ADs for dating free online
OPENING LINES. Use your username... don't be Bob3456... be PaintBallPrincess
or SecretSuperHero or something else that reflects your sense of humor
and yourself. If the ad allows you a "subject line" also use
that well... "Need woman in Atlanta" doesn't cut it. "Atlanta
man on a mission" sounds more interesting. "Atlanta Knight seeks
his Queen" tells a different story about who you are seeking. Use
your username and subject line to hook people into your ad. Use humor,
drama, a funky metaphor. Then, like any good ad, you want to show them
you are what they need, show them why you are unique, and invite them
to take action... by emailing you!
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DETAILS. Write in complete sentences. Spelling and grammar DO count. We
have modern tools to help with that. You want to look like you find this
task important enough to spell out the words. Unless you are 15 years
old, writing "If u r inrested n me, wrt 2 me" makes you LOOK
15 years old. ALL CAPS IS LIKE SHOUTING... don't. It is actually harder
to read.
HONESTY. If you are not honest with yourself and others, you will not
find happiness in the personals. Are you married? You know, people CAN
figure that out and will resent the lie more than the wedding ring. Without
making any value judgements, putting down "married" will not
necessarily stop you from finding matches. If you are just looking for
a casual date, don't imply that you are looking for marriage just to get
more email... it wastes everyone's time. If you are looking for a long-term
thing, don't think you can "convince" a casual date to spend
more time with you. You are asking for disappointment. Try completing
this sentence: "In a year, I'd like to see us doing...."
STRINGS. Guys, I see many you making a crucial mistake in your profiles.
You will find that women are seldom looking for a "no strings relationship."
There simply is no such thing... if it is a relationship, it has strings
of SOME sort. If you don't want strings, you are looking for an escort
service. Women of any description can find casual physical relationships
without lifting a finger to a keyboard. Don't lie, but think about which
"strings" are okay with you. "Seeking Torrid Summer Romance"
is fine and honest. So is, "I am not eager to move in or get married.
I want to have a regular date for parties and cookouts with my friends."
Ladies, this counts for you, too. If your personal ad sounds like you
might be offering paid sexual services, you are going to get some rude
offers. You might avoid phrases like, "looking for a wealthy man
with good taste in jewelry."
BEYOND PHYSICAL. Have you ever really dated someone just for their eye
color? OK, maybe you have spectacular eyeballs. But ads tend to reel off
personal stats... and then stop there, as though there were nothing but
a body. Most personal sites let you click things to describe your eyes,
hair, and height... don't waste valuable profile space on your hair. Talk
about who you are first, and what you look like at the end. Want to know
the number one thing surveyed women look for in a guy? A sense of humor.
AVOID NEGATIVES. This is not the place to list all the things that drove
you crazy about your ex and how you won't put up with that again. Don't
list what you don't want... discuss what you DO want. Turn your own lifestyle
quirks into positives, not obstacles. Workaholic? Try, "My career
keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexible schedule for spontaneous
one-day adventures." Frugal to a fault? Try "I find it amusing
to squeeze a nickel 'til it screams... help me research for my web column
"CheapDates for CheapSkates." Worried people will regard your
children as an obstacle? "My family is very important to me and I
hope to find someone that will enjoy the attention of a warm family circle."
POST A PHOTO. Website statistics show that an ad with a photo is 80% more
likely to get a response. A photo that shows you relaxed and having fun,
no matter what you look like, is even better. Don't use a photo that isn't
current.. it isn't worth looking so insecure, or being rejected later.
Don't rush to ask for a photo... you may look like a "pic trader,"
someone who is collecting photos rather than looking for a real date.
Don't stress about your looks... attraction is about more than looks.
Yes, we often are first attracted to someone by looks, when we meet in
person. But on the Internet, if you seem like a jerk, you won't get the
chance to meet in person.
LIFE STAGES. People often say that "age" is not as important
as "life stage." Where are you in your life? Just starting out
in a new career? Settled into life with kids? Empty-nesting? Exploring
new interests? These are things that matter. Talk about what is important
in your life. "I am established in my career and now turning my attention
to the great books I never had time to read." "I moved to this
state for a job after college, and I am looking for dates with a lot of
outdoors-loving friends to help me build a sporty new social circle."
FAVORITE THINGS. Listing ALL your favorite things is dizzying.. Choose
one good example and talk about why you like it. Choose something that
gives the reader an insight into what you enjoy. You want people to be
able to spot things you have in common, but also feel that there is something
new and interesting to learn about you. Interest them in learning more
with a "teaser" about something fascinating about you. Ask a
question for them to answer in the reply email.
RULES. Never... NEVER include your last name, phone number or address.
Observe the rules of the various websites... some do not allow you to
post web addresses or email addresses. Many prohibit crude language or
sexual references. Getting your ad removed by breaking rules is a waste
of time.
So... let your personality be shown in a tasteful way, take the time to
do a good job, and have a good photo. Those things alone will put you
far ahead of the misspelled anonymous pack.
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